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The Relationship Dance

The Relationship Dance: A Guide to Loving Gracefully £14.99

Buy The Relationship Dance Now £14.99

How would your life be, if you and your partner were always on the same side… facing life’s challenges together?

A relationship is a dynamic pattern of advancing and retreating ‘energies’. A healthy relationship is a graceful dance of balanced and constructive interactions. Indeed, the quality of your life is determined by the health of your relationships.

The Relationship Dance is a guide for anyone who wants  to improve their ability to relate, communicate and share happiness and meaning with a loved one!

In this book, you will discover how to:

  • Create a solid foundation with the Five Relationship Graces
  • Remain balanced and constructive, even when you face differences
  • ‘Clean up your own act’ to develop a healthy and rewarding relationship
  • Build and maintain a complementary and interdependent relationship
  • Communicate assertively and speak your truth with kindness
  • Revivify that ‘honeymoon feeling’

Buy The Relationship Dance Now £14.99

The Model Presenter: Developing Excellence in Presenting and Training £3.72

Buy The Model Presenter Now £3.72

How would YOU like to be the Model Presenter?

Confident – Engaging – Structured – Flexible – Relaxed – Excellent

The Model Presenter will show you how to:

Develop the qualities of an exceptional presenter
Create a memorable and logical structure
Deliver presentations and training with confidence
Engage an audience easily and effortlessly
Deal with a wide range of challenging situations

This ‘how-to’ guide is filled with steps to follow and helpful hints and tips modelled on the best of the best.

You will discover a host of original material including:

Closing the Gap between yourself and the Mind of the Audience
Preparing using the BROADCAST Model
Delivering training sessions using the IMPACT Formula
Transforming nerves into confidence

Be remembered for the right reasons…
As you become the Model Presenter!

Joe and Melody Cheal have been presenting and training since 1993 in both the corporate and personal development fields.
They are both certified Master Trainers of NLP and have a passion for inspiring, developing and entertaining audiences.

This book is based on a 20 year modelling project that began with the question:
“What makes presenters and trainers excellent?”

“An elegantly written, concise yet complete guide to presenting with style. An absolute must have for anyone who is committed to confidently delivering inspiring presentations. From audience engagement and state management to preparation design and delivery The Model Presenter really is the only book you will ever need to become a successful charismatic presenter!” Cristiana Saudella,
MBA Marketing Manager.

CONTENTS

Introduction

* Presenting and training
* About the book

The Model

* What is the model presenter?

The Mind of the Audience: Closing the Gap

* Modelling the mind of the audience
* The mind of the audience
* Closing the gap: Into the mind of the audience
* Connection and credibility: The keys to closing the gap
* Engaging the audience: Push and pull
* Asking questions: Inviting the audience to input

Creating a Model Environment: The Psychology of the Room

* The model environment
* The venue
* The room
* The media

Preparing Context and Content

* Modelling content preparation
* ‘BROADCAST’ preparation

Structure: Preparing to Deliver a Presentation

* The presentation overview
* Opening your presentation: The introduction
* Main points
* Questions
* Closing your presentation: The summary

Designing and Delivering Training Courses

* Training style and approach
* Matching different learning styles
* The IMPACT Formula: A practical method for designing and delivering training

Body, Voice and Emotion

* Modelling body, voice and emotion
* Getting the audience’s attention
* Body and emotion

Language: Engaging the Audience

* The impact of language
* Strong and colourful language
* Mind your language
* The answer is in the question
* Signposting and meaning making

Examples, Stories and Metaphors

* Modelling examples, stories and metaphors

Handling Questions

* Questions and answers
* Best practice: Steps for taking questions
* Inviting questions: What if there are no questions?
* Handling questions using the ‘Directions of Thinking’ Model
* Pacing and leading your response
* Other challenges when handling questions

Managing Difficulties

* Yes, but what if…?
* When presenters create their own difficulties
* ‘External’ difficulties
* Worst case scenarios
* Final words

Managing Nerves and Fear: Connecting to Confidence

* Audience tolerance
* Nervousness: What and why?
* Handling nerves: Solutions and ideas

Appendix 1: The Modelling Project

Notes & Further Reading

About the Authors

 

Buy The Model Presenter Now £3.72

The Little Book of Resilience £8.99


Buy The Little Book of Resilience Now £8.99

 

For over 25 years, we have been fascinated by what makes people ‘psychologically strong and healthy’.

Following that curiosity, we have observed, listened to, read about and engaged with some very ‘sorted’ human beings.

By modelling the behaviours, qualities, characteristics and thought processes of many of these wonderful human beings, we have developed a range of ideas, models, tools, tips and techniques to help others remain strong when life and work gets tough.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

The Little Book of Resilience is a ‘dip in’ book, designed to give you an idea on each page that you might reflect on and wherever possible, take action.

For each idea, consider:

Where do I do that already?

Where could I do that more often?

Where could I begin doing that?

How might I do that?

With whom?

Get Your Copy Today – Limited Stock!

 


Buy The Little Book of Resilience Now £8.99

What is the point of psychometrics in Coaching?

Melody Cheal, MSc Applied Positive Psychology and NLP Master Trainer and Coach

Students on my Accredited Coaching Diploma often ask me about the value and use of psychometrics in Coaching.

As with any tool there are advantages and disadvantages. It is worth considering carefully before you reach for the psychometrics questionnaire. Ask yourself, “will this help or hinder my clients process?”

There are many psychometrics out there and it is worth noting that all personality profiles are measuring the same thing. Each will have a different way of expressing traits, personality and behaviour and yet all are essentially looking at what it means to be a human being.

When you chose a psychometric it really is mainly about preference. I have some favourites and a few I use more sparingly. The points below can really be applied to any psychometric test.

There are several good reasons to use psychometrics:

 

  1. To start the conversation, particularly where the client lacks self-awareness about their own behaviour and responses.
  2. Where the client is experiencing conflict with others psychometrics can help expand their understanding of group dynamics and how to develop new strategies for interaction.
  3. Some clients need some kind of convincer to help them see the value of coaching and the somewhat objective nature of psychometrics can provide a platform for this.
  4. Some clients are genuinely curious and may request a profile and this can be a fun way to explore behaviours and options.

 

 

There are some important drawbacks to psychometrics that also need to be considered. The most important, in my view, is to ensure the client does not think their profile is who they are. There is a risk that the client may feel they are in a pigeon hole and that their choices are limited. People are not pigeons! While many psychometrics have a lot of research behind them, other do not. I always recommend that profiles should not be taken seriously, they are merely a tool for development. This can make it easier for a client to step back and review how the profile reflects on their experience.

 

As an example, Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is arguably one of the most rigorous and well researched psychometrics available. Even with such a well-researched tool the test, retest reliability is only 70% if taken within six months of the first measure.

 

What does test, retest reliability mean?

 

If you take MBTI psychometric test and then take it again within six months there is a 70% chance that you will have the same profile as the first time. This percentage diminishes over time. It is worth saying here that statistically these figures are high and the test is a good one. However it is a good reminder about how in reality results are very open to change.

 

A second reason to be cautious is when working with the over-analytical client. This type of client may get so caught up in analysing that they miss the point. The psychometric just

Melody Coaching on NLP Trainer’s Training. Providing skills feedback on Presentation style

becomes another way to avoid making changes.

 

Another type of client who may not benefit could be someone stuck in “victim” mentality. Where a person feels helpless and overwhelmed a psychometric can just add to this feeling.

 

All in all, psychometrics are useful tools when used as an aid to coaching.  What do you think? What is your experience of using psychometrics? Do you have a favourite?

What happened at NLP Trainer’s Training 2019?

NLP Trainer’s Training
Class of 2019

NLP Trainer’s Training is the third course in the main NLP Trilogy after NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner. What you may not know is how Transformational NLP Trainer’s Training can be.

 

This year we had an amazing group of students at various levels in their own development. There were several students wanting to take NLP Trainer’s Training Evaluation and Certification. We also had one person who is already an NLP Trainer who was on her NLP Master Trainer Track.

 

The training took place over a two week period starting with the training element where students learnt how to structure and plan courses, teach on multiple levels and develop charisma as speakers.

 

This was then followed by three days of Evaluation and Certification.

 

The following notes and pictures are from our photo diary.

Day one of NLP Trainer’s Training, great start everyone.

Melody and Joe teaching on NLP Trainer’s Training

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting into Trainer State

Day one of NLP Trainer’s Training concluded with a welcome party.

Day one ended with a Party to give everyone a chance to get to know each other

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had two amazing and brilliant assistants on our NLP Trainer’s Training Caroline Hart and Sanja Mitin. Assistants are an essential part of all our NLP Trainer’s Training Courses. 🙏💜🦋🦋💜

Training Trainers in the Garden. All ambiguities intended!

 

Day…..cant remember of Trainers Training in NLP and hypnosis. Learning and enjoying lots. What a wonderful journey with wonderful people.
Time for some relaxation and double induction hypnosis
It’s been a fascinating and useful 6 days with 8 more to come. I’m really proud to be on my way to being a Master Trainer of NLP -one of a handful in the UK. Bring it on !!!
Dr Bridget Kirsop
Practicing Demonstrations

Dr Sanja Mitin travelled all the way from Croatia to assist on our NLP Trainer’s Training and to take the first step in her journey towards NLP Master Trainer. As always we’ve had a lot of fun. Do you want to join us next time?

What is the difference between a fixed mind set and a growth mindset?

What you believe about yourself underpins your Mindset. Believe in your Brilliance and your ability to keep learning.

Have you ever asked yourself  “What is the difference between a fixed mind set and a growth mindset?”

Mindset differences are often the topic of books, articles and talks and yet the definitions sometimes get lost in the detail. So let me clarify.

 

 

 

 

What is a Fixed Mindset?

A Fixed Mindset is a way of thinking based the belief that your personal qualities are set in stone. For example, the you may have been taught to think about IQ tends to encourage this mndset. Many people talk about IQ as if it is a fixed and quantifiable number by which to judge intelligence.

 

This was not the original intention of Alfred Binet, he was more interested in shaping the education system to help those who had been left behind. Binet believed that intelligence could be developed however popular reporting distorted the intention.

 

Returning to the definition of a Fixed Mindset, it can be characterised as a belief that traits, qualities and talents are limited and fixed. It creates tension and striving. There can be a sense of not being good enough and having to constantly prove yourself.

What is a Growth Mindset?

A Growth Mindset, on the other hand is based on the belief that your talents, gifts, qualities, characteristics and traits can be developed through learning, teaching, mentoring and experimentation. A Growth Mindset creates a love of learning and a positive self-image. The focus is on improving rather than trying to prove that you are good enough.

 

Carol Dweck, a leading researcher in the field talks about the power of a simple word, “yet”.

When you attempt something new and don’t quite reach the standard you were aiming at what do you say to yourself?

What is the difference between a Fixed Mindset response and a Growth Mindset response?

A Fixed Mindset response would be:

 

“I’m not good enough”

 

A Growth Mindset response would be:

 

“I’m not there yet! What do I need to do to improve?”

 

This promotes continued learning and motivation to preserve. The Growth Mindset is often self-rewarding and can be encouraged by teachers and parents.

How does NLP help develop a Growth Mindset?

The linguistic pattern that introduces the use of the word “yet” is one that has long been taught as part of NLP Training. For this reason when you take an NLP Practitioner training you are likely to notice an increase in your ability to  develop a Growth Mindset. As you start to challenge how you think and what you believe about effort and success you start to notice a natural shift.

 

I’ll write more about this in future posts. For now here is a treat, click the link to hear Carol Dweck talking about the power of “Yet”.

Are you practicing self-care in your relationships? Do your relationships lift you up or bring you down?

This week my focus is on relationships and self-care. In my private practice I often work with clients who are experiencing issues in their romantic relationships.

The Relationship Dance

When you value yourself it is easy to value your partner

In our book of the same title, Joe and I talk about the Relationship Dance and how there is a flow in a relationship. There are healthy relationships and relationships that are toxic and everything in between. Whatever type of relationship you may be in there is a dance and you co-create your experience with your partner.

 

If you are currently in relationship, how is it going for you?  Do you

The Relationship Dance
A guide to loving gracefully by Joe and Melody Cheal

feel supported, valued and respected as well as loved? Are you supportive, do you value and respect your partner?

 

If you answered “no” to any of the above it is worth taking a moment to reflect on your pattern in relationships. Is there an abusive edge to your experience or are you just experiencing dissatisfaction?

 

People who find themselves in abusive relationships or who themselves are abusive are unlikely to practice positive self-care. This is also true where there is a level of dissatisfaction.

 

Take a moment to reflect, do you value yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you ensure you have a supportive environment? Although sometimes cliched, do you love yourself.

 

If you answer “no” to this set of questions consider this.

 

If you don’t love, respect and value yourself how can you expect anyone else to?

 

Often the most important place to start in transforming relationships with others is the relationship with yourself. You may find that if you make friends with yourself your relationship with your partner will start to improve.

 

This is not a guarantee and you might find that at the point where you are respecting and valuing yourself you might choose to end your relationship.

 

Once you have a healthy relationship with yourself you will discover you have more effective ways of communicating with your partner. You will be more willing to appreciate and value them and at the same time be more able to speak your truth and maintain boundaries.

 

I will expand more on this topic over the next few weeks.

 

If you are ready to start your own self-care journey and have not yet training in NLP now might be the time to sign up for the NLP101 Taster Day on 18thJune or 9thAugust.

 

Follow the link for more information

I work one to one both in person and via Skype

If you need one to one support contact me direct to find out more about booking a session. melody@gwiznlp.com

 

 

What Melody and Joe did at the NLP International Conference 2019

Last week Joe and I were at the NLP Conference in London and so this week I am breaking from my series on Self-care to share our experiences with you.

Judith Delozier and Judith Lowe presented the Maser Class, Passion in Action

Melody with Judith Delozier, known by some as the Mother of NLP

The Conference takes place over three days. The first day is always a Master Class from leading NLP Trainers from around the world. This year was no exception. The speakers were Judith Delozier and Judith Lowe and the topic was “Passion in Action”.

Melody and Joe presenting again at the NLP Conference

Day two and three of the Conference consist of six streams of parallel sessions on a range of topics. This year Joe and I had separate sessions.

My session was first thing on Saturday morning and my topic was

Melody presented a session on The Core Transformation Process

Core Transformations. One of the reasons I ran this session was as an introduction to the work of Connirae Andreas. Connirae will be delivering the Master Class on The Wholeness Work  in 2020.

I am excited to announce that we (GWiz NLP) will be hosting a further three days training with Connirae the weekend after the Conference (more details to follow).

Joe presented a session on The Language of Unconscious Bias

Joe also ran a session on Saturday entitles The Language of Unconscious Bias. If any of you would like a copy of his notes contact me direct and I will forward them to you as a pdf.

 

Our Saturday was very busy with Joe and I chairing the annual meeting of the NLP Leadership Summit. This group is made of up NLP Leaders from around the world united  in a vision to “change the future and pull the field of NLP together”.

What happened at the NLP Awards

Saturday evening was all about the NLP Awards. Joe was the MC for the third year in a row. He was planning to stand down but had so much fun he as agreed to MC next year as well.

For the third year running Joe was the MC for the NLP Awards

Judith Delozier was presented with the Life Time Achievement Awards which was richly deserved. The Award was presented by two other NLP leaders, Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan.

Lucas was the winner of the NLP Research Award and Melody was the runner up

I was short listed for the NLP Research Award and was a runner up. The winner was Lucas Derks, whose work on Social Panorama and other allied projects made him a very worthy winner.

Socialising and having fun at the NLP Conference

One of the other aspects of the NLP Conference that Joe and I love is the wonderful social element. Our GWiz NLP Stand became a meeting place and was our base.

Edward Grey collected his Hypnosis Trainer certificates.
Laura collected her NLP Master Practitioner Certificates

We met with many friends from around the world and also made some new connections. It was lovely to see so many people attending the Conference who either began their NLP journey with us or attended a course a long the way.

Thank you to Karen Falconer, Kash Falconer and their team for organising yet another brilliant Conference.

Joe and Melody having fun at the NLP Conference
Caroline Hart and Melody in their “trademark” silly pose!

Did you know that when you learn something new your self-esteem gets a boost?

GWiz NLP
What could you learn this week?

This week I’m going to keep it short as I’m busy preparing for the NLP Conference which starts on Friday. Thinking about the Conference and looking at the programme reminded me of the value of learning as a way to boost your self-esteem.

 

This makes learning another form of self-care. This is boosted further when you learn with others. The social element creates a positive affect and a sense of belonging.  When the learning is a little challenging you also get the additional benefit of feelings of accomplishment and success.

 

We recently completed an NLP Practitioner Training spread over several months. The students really bonded and supported each other. On the evaluation days some of the students felt anxious. After the results were announced the feelings of success were even greater.

 

Have you ever had that experience?

 

Take a moment to review what learning opportunities you have given yourself recently.

 

You could choose to learn a new hobby, learn a language or learn a practical skill. What about starting some academic studies? You could even start a journey of self-discovery such as NLP Practitioner or beyond.

 

Some of our new students recorded some reflections on their experience. Click the link to find out more.

GWiz NLP
Melody and Joe presenting NLP Practitioner Certificates to Debbie

Next week I’ll be at the NLP Conference so will get back to you the week after.

 

 

 

 

GWiz NLP

Who are the people who surround you? Do they nourish you or do they drain you?

Although this series is about self-care there is an inter-personal aspect to your well-being that I would like to highlight to you this week.

I wonder, have you considered how much the people you spend time with have an impact on your well-being and your ability to stay resilient?

The relationships you engage in regularly will have a direct influence on your energy levels and your general sense of self. This may not surprise you and yet have you ever stopped to check.

Are the people you spend the most time with:

  • Critical of you and your life.
  • An emotional drain.
  • Needy and demanding.
  • Easily offended and reactionary.
  • Aggressive either to you or in your company to others.
  • Have a negative mindset.

If you answered “yes” to even one or two of the characteristics above the chances are you will feel drained and unhappy after spending time with such people.

So perhaps it is time to change who you spend time with!

I wonder how many of you feel uncomfortable about this suggestion? If you do it will be because you have a value that feels ignored. Maybe loyalty is important to you or kindness. It may be some other value of a similar nature.

I can understand that reaction and yet for your own health it is worth thinking about how much time you spend with people who sap your energy.

Have you applied the above list to yourself, do those characteristic also apply to you? Or maybe they used to. Either way, if you are now committed to self-care practice I recommend you begin widening your circle of friends to include people who:

  • Laugh and smile a lot.
  • Are kind and encouraging.
  • Motivate you and others.
  • Demonstrate that they care about you
  • Are good at turning conflict into conversation
  • Have a growth mindset.
  • Lift your spirits.

Begin by adopting the above behaviours yourself so that you are the kind of person others want to spend time with in order to feel good. Secondly, begin connecting with people who lift your spirits.

You may need to do your homework to find out where these people can be found. May be joining a class or hobby group, maybe going to networking events or social gatherings. In all of these places you will find people who fit both the lists above so be selective.

https://www.gwiznlp.com/event/fully-accredited-nlp-practitioner/
Positive people are good for your well-being

One of the easiest ways to start building your new positive network is to sign up to a personal development course such as NLP Practitioner. You are likely to find other people looking for the same thing plus others who already have a genuine positive attitude to life.

As you build your new positive supportive network you may find that some of your old friends will welcome the change in you and begin their own journeys of transformation. There may be others you choose to limit your time with or gently let go of.

Remember you have choice and you deserve happiness, well-being and resilience. You can only be responsible for yourself. Become that person that lifts the spirits of others, I know you can do it.