Tag Archives: unresolved issues

Do you live with an active inner critic?

Does it hold you back and prevent you from enjoying life fully or maybe stop you trying new things?

Transforming your inner Critic using NLP

A couple of weeks ago I first wrote about your inner critic and how it can sometimes undermine  your self-care. This week I am going to share with you some tips that will enable you to make some changes that will really help you transform that voice.

When we hear that inner critic speak

So, firstly a re-cap, your inner critic is a part of you that is trying to help you. It’s job is likely about wanting to keep you safe or help you avoid something such as embarrassment or rejection. It has a positive intention and this intention may be out of date.

The suggestions I am about to make will reduce the power of the voice or change it in a way that makes it easier to feel okay about.

You may still need to do some more formal inner work if the inner critic is connected to unresolved issues. If this is the case the changes I am about to suggest may only last for a short time or not at all.

When you clear the underlying issue the inner critic will either naturally transform or will be open to the changes below.

Here are the tips.

  1. Thank your inner critic for it’s input, help and advice.
  2. Listen to the words and evaluate, is there genuinely something to pay attention to here or are the words just a sign of anxiety.
  3. Experiment with changing your inner critic’s tone. It is your brain, your inner voice so this is easy to do. See what happens if you change the voice into something you can no longer take seriously. For example make it sound like Micky Mouse or Scooby Do. Alternatively soften the tone, make it sound like a kindly advisor delivering the advice in a soft, non-judgemental way.
  4. Notice the location of your inner critic, what happens if you switch the location? Sometimes this on its own makes a big difference. For example, if your inner critic sounds like it is on the right, near the back of your head move it to the left and further forward. Sometimes you may need to do this change before step 3.

These small tips have made a difference to many of my clients however if you try them and they do not work for you I suggest you seek out an experienced NLP Practitioner who can help you using one of the following techniques, parts work, six step reframe, re-imprint, Core Transformation or the Wholeness Process.

Where possible choose someone who was recommended to you by someone you know and trust. You can also check to see if the person is a member of ANLP our NLP Professional body and also ask what level of training they have.

Please be aware that NLP Training does vary with some people attending very short courses. Be wary of working with anyone who has only had online training.

More next week, have a lovely day.

Are you “giving something up” for your health?

What if instead of giving up you were giving yourself better self-care instead?

I know promised you some more tips on managing your inner critic and I hope you will forgive me for putting it off for one more week. I have a good reason.

 

I was reflecting on all the people who were posting about “giving things up for Lent”. I am not religious however I do consider myself Spiritual and I wondered about harnessing this idea for self-care.

 

I made a decision to explore what it feels like to embrace 40 days of reflection and sacrifice. The word sacrifice felt harsh to me so I reframed this as self-compassion with the idea that it will increase my ability to have compassion for others.

 

I will be giving something up as part of that process. I have decided to give up sugary sweets, biscuits and chocolate plus alcohol which I currently only take occasionally.

 

I suspect my need for sugar is really an indicator of some unresolved issues, some of which are outside my awareness.

 

From an NLP perspective, I hold the view that my unhealthy drives around sugar do have a positive intention. They are likely trying to help or protect me in some way.

 

I have some ideas as to what that might be and there may be some I have yet to consider. It is also possible that the positive intention is now out of date and the part of me that is running the drive did not realise.

 

I plan to replace sugar with self-care and self-compassion.

 

The phrase “giving something up” can be a block to lasting change so I am reframed this too. Instead of giving something up I will notice what emerges from my change in behaviour and take steps clear what needs clearing, acknowledge what needs acknowledging and release what needs releasing.

 

I am using a number of approaches including NLP, The Wholeness Process, Core Transformations and Journalling.

 

Having begun this journey it then occurred to me that a shared journey can be a very supportive thing so I set up a group on Facebook in order to invite others to join me.

 

I extend this invitation to you now. Would you like to join me on this journey of self-care and self-compassion?

 

Below is my original post. The name of the group is “Self-care for 40 days and beyond” and you are welcome to ask to join the group. I will be continuing to write my blogs on self-care here and  you can post  comments about your own journey or questions here on this blog.

 

“I do not follow any form of organised religion however I do consider myself Spiritual. I believe in a connection between us all and that we have the ability to share compassion.

 

I have been considering the Christian tradition of Lent. I have made a decision to explore what it feels like to embrace 40 days of reflection and sacrifice. The word sacrifice feels harsh to me so I plan to reframe this as self-compassion with the idea that it will increase my ability to have compassion for others.

 

I will be giving something up as part of that process. I have decided to give up sugary sweets, biscuits and chocolate plus alcohol which I currently only take occasionally. I suspect my need for sugar is really an indicator of some unresolved issues, some of which are outside my awareness. I plan to replace sugar with self-care and self-compassion. I will notice what emerges and take steps clear what needs clearing, acknowledge what needs acknowledging and release what needs releasing.

 

I will need love and support so if you feel moved to, please comment on my daily posts.

 

If you wish to join me on your own journey of self-discovery please do leave me comments in what I plan to make a daily sharing for the next 40 days.

 

Please feel free to share this post if you think it will help others.”

Self-care for 40 days and beyond